When talking to someone, change “but” to “and”

Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word “but” and ending with a critical statement.

Example:

We might say “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.”

In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word “but”. He might then question the sincerity of the original praise.

This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and”.

“We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.

-Principle 2How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.237