Tag: Negotiation

Negotation Mastery

When I make a mistake – something that happens a lot – I always acknowledge the other person’s anger. I’ve found the phrase “Look, I’m an asshole” to be an amazingly effective way to make problems go away.

Chris Labs

-Never split the difference, p.59 Continue reading When I make a mistake – something that happens a lot – I always acknowledge the other person’s anger. I’ve found the phrase “Look, I’m an asshole” to be an amazingly effective way to make problems go away.

Negotation Mastery

We all have a tendency to expand on what we’ve said… don’t.

Chris Labs

Let the label do its magic. We will say “It seems like you like the way that shirt looks”, with a specific question like “Where did you get it?” But a label’s power is that it invites the other person to reveal himself. So keep it to “It seems like you like the way that shirt looks” and then go silent. -Never split the difference, p.57 Continue reading We all have a tendency to expand on what we’ve said… don’t.

Negotation Mastery

Labeling: Spot your counterpart’s feelings, turn them into words, and then very calmly and respectfully repeat their emotions back to them.

Chris Labs

That’s called labeling. Give someone’s emotion a name and you show you identify with how that person feels. Think of labeling as a shortcut to intimacy, a time-saving emotional hack. Labeling has a special advantage when your counterpart is tense: Exposing negative thoughts to daylight “It looks like you don’t want to go back to jail” – makes them seem less frightening. -Never split the difference, p.54 Continue reading Labeling: Spot your counterpart’s feelings, turn them into words, and then very calmly and respectfully repeat their emotions back to them.

Negotation Mastery

Tactical empathy is understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you increase your influence in all the moments that follow.

Chris Labs

It is being able to think from another person’s point of view while they are talking and quickly assess what is driving them. Make a commitment to understanding their world. *Notice I didn’t say anything about agreeing with the other person’s values and beliefs or giving out hugs. That’s sympathy. -Never split the difference, p.52 Continue reading Tactical empathy is understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you increase your influence in all the moments that follow.

Negotation Mastery

You can learn almost everything you need – and a lot more than other people would like you to know – simply by watching and listening, keeping your eyes peeled, and your ears open, and your mouth shut.

Chris Labs

-Never split the difference, p.50 Continue reading You can learn almost everything you need – and a lot more than other people would like you to know – simply by watching and listening, keeping your eyes peeled, and your ears open, and your mouth shut.