Tag: Social Interactions

Learnings

Usher (include) in your most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as:

Chris Labs

“It will be for the jury to consider,” “This may, perhaps, be worth thinking of,” “Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of.” “You, with knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts.” No bulldozing. No high-pressure methods. No attempt to force his opinion on others. -Principle 4, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.174 Continue reading Usher (include) in your most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as:

Learnings

Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wnats to say or intend to say…

Chris Labs

…and say them before that person has a chance to say them. The chances are a hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and your mistakes will be minimized just as the mounted policeman did with me and Rex. Example: Ferdinand E Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art. “It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing purposes, to be precise and very exact,” Mr. Warren said as he told the story. “Some art editors demande that their commissions be executed immediately; … Continue reading Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wnats to say or intend to say…

Learnings

When someone says something you know is wrong…

Chris Labs

When another asserted something that I thought an error, I deny’d myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing immediately some absurdity in his proposition: and in answering I gean by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right, but in the present case there appear’d or seem’d to me some difference, etc. I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the conversations I engag’d went on more pleasantly. The modest way in which I propos’d my opinions procur’d them a readier reception and less contradiction; I had less mortificatio when … Continue reading When someone says something you know is wrong…

Learnings

How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:

Chris Labs

1- Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “when two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brough to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake. 2- Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best. 3- Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size … Continue reading How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:

Learnings

Find out what people are interested in and talk about that

Chris Labs

Mr. Duvernoy had been trying to sell bread to a certain New York hotel. He had called on the manager every week for four years. He went to the same social affairs the manager attended. He even took rooms in the hotel and lived there in order to get the business. But he failed. “Then,” said Mr. Duvernoy, “after studying human relations, I resolved to change my tactics. I decided to find out what interested this man – what caught his enthusiasm. “I discovered he belonged to a society of hotel executives called the Hotel Greeters of America. He not … Continue reading Find out what people are interested in and talk about that

Learnings

Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.

Chris Labs

A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. -Principle 4, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.123 Continue reading Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.

Learnings

Do what it takes to remember the name of the people you meet

Chris Labs

Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephew of the great Napolean, boasted that in spite of all his royal duties he could remember the name of every person he met. His technique? Simple. If he didn;t hear the name distinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is it spelled?” During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance. All this takes time, but “Good … Continue reading Do what it takes to remember the name of the people you meet