Tag: Social Interactions

Learnings

You can try to get people to learn information… But people remember stories

Chris Labs

That’s because people don’t think in terms of information. They think in terms of narratives. But while people focus on the story itself, information comes along for the ride. Narratives are inherently more engrossing than basic facts. They have a beginning, middle, and end. If people get sucked in early, they’ll stay for the conclusion. […] You started down a path and you want to know how it ends. Until it does, they’ve captured your attention. Take the story of the coat my cousin bought from Land’s End. -Contagious, p.181 Continue reading You can try to get people to learn information… But people remember stories

Learnings

People don’t just care about how they are doing, they care about their performance in relation to others

Chris Labs

Getting to board a plane a few minutes early is a nice perk of achieving Premier status. But part of what makes this a nice perk is that you get to board before everyone else. Because levels work on two, well, levels. They tell us where we are at any time in absolute terms. But they also make clear where we stand relative to everyone else. -Contagious, p.47 Continue reading People don’t just care about how they are doing, they care about their performance in relation to others

Virality

Talking about remarkable things provides social currency

Chris Labs

Remarkable things are defined as unusual, extraordinary, or worthy of notice or attention. Something can be remarkable because it is novel, surprinsing, extreme, or just plain interesting. But the most important aspect of remarkable things is that they are worthy of remark. Worthy of mention. Learning that a ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber is just so noteworthy that you have to mention it. -Contagious, p.39 Continue reading Talking about remarkable things provides social currency

Learnings

Why do people talk so much about their own attitudes and experiences?

Chris Labs

It’s more than just vanity (excessive pride in or admiration of one’s own appearance or achievements); we’re actually wired to find it pleasurable. Harvard neuroscientists Jason Mitchell and Diana Tamir found that disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding. In one study, Mitchell and Tamir hooked subjects up to brain scanners and asked them to share either their own opinions and attitudes (“I like snowboarding”) or the opinions and attitudes of another person (“He likes puppies”). They found that sharing personal opinions activated the same brain circuits that respond to rewards like food and money. -Contagious, p.33 Continue reading Why do people talk so much about their own attitudes and experiences?

Learnings

Make Relationship Deposits

Chris Labs

Too many people try to make withdrawals from bank accounts they’ve never made deposits in. Just like a real bank account, that’s not how relationships work. Withdrawing from an empty bank account puts you in debt. The same is true with relationships; a relationship must have an equal flow of currency between two accounts, if not a positive balance in your favor. But how do you get there? Well, you have to start making deposits. You get there by giving. I’ve said this before, you always want to go for the give instead of the ask. If you go for … Continue reading Make Relationship Deposits

Learnings

You’d rather have someone’s respect than someone’s friendship

Chris Labs

Working toward your goals, you will get people upset. You might sincerely care about how someone is doing, but you won’t pick up the phone and call them to find out. You don’t have time for chit-chat or lunch or anything that distracts you from your single-minded focus. You won’t be good at nurturing relationships, but remember: You’d rather have someone’s respect than their friendship. 4h28mins, Relentless, Tim S. Grover Continue reading You’d rather have someone’s respect than someone’s friendship