Tag: Relationships

Negotation Mastery

7% message-based, 38% tone of voice, 55% body language and face

Chris Labs

Pay very close attention to tone and body language to make sure they match up with the literal meaning of the words. If they don’t align, it’s quite possible that the speaker is lying or at least unconvinced. When someone’s tone of voice or body language does not align with the meaning of the words they say, use labels to discover the source of the incongruence. You: “So we’re agreed?” Them: “Yes…” You:” I heard you say, ‘Yes,’ but it seemed like there was hesitation in your voice.” Them: “Ohh, it’s nothing really.” You: “No, this is important, let’s make … Continue reading 7% message-based, 38% tone of voice, 55% body language and face

Negotation Mastery

Get your counterpart to say “That’s right” ✅ But make sure it’s not “You’re right” ❌

Chris Labs

When your adversary say “That’s right,” they feel they have assessed what you’ve said and pronounced it as correct of their own free will. They embrace it. Why is “You’re right” a disaster? Consider this: Whenever someone is bothering you, and they just won’t let up, and they won’t listen to anything you have to say, what do you tell them to get them to shut up and go away? “You’re right”. It works every time. Tell people “you’re right” and they get a happy smile on their face and leave you alone for at least twenty-four hours. But you … Continue reading Get your counterpart to say “That’s right” ✅ But make sure it’s not “You’re right” ❌

Negotation Mastery

Someone ignores your emails?

Chris Labs

Send this one-sentence email. “Have you given up on this project?” The point is that this one-sentence email encapsulates the best of “No”-oriented questions and plays on your counterpart’s natural human aversion to loss. It offers the other party the feeling of safety and the illusion of control while encouraging them to define their position and explain it to you. Just as important, it makes the implicit threat that you will walk away on your own terms. –Never split the difference, p.92 Continue reading Someone ignores your emails?

Negotation Mastery

In the early goings, make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say.

Chris Labs

Instead of doing any thinking at all about what you’re going to say. In that mode of true active listening – you’ll make your counterpart feel safe. The voice inside their head will begin to quiet down. The goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what they want. -Never split the difference, p.28 Continue reading In the early goings, make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say.

Negotation Mastery

Assumption blind, hypothesis guide

Chris Labs

Good negotiators, going in, know they have to be ready for possible surprises; great negotiators aim to use their skills to reveal the surprises they are certain exist. It’s best to hold multiple hypotheses, and to use the information that is coming in from listening to discard and modify those hypotheses. Engage the process with a mindset of discovery. -Never split the difference, p.24 Continue reading Assumption blind, hypothesis guide

Learnings

It’s usually better to leave no doubt in your visitor’s mind if you’re not interested in their project or idea.

Chris Labs

In a way, it’s kinder, as well. While the temptation is to say, “I’ll confer with my colleagues and get back to you,” this will eventually come back to haunt you and waste more of your most valuable resource. Time. -How to get rich, p.130 Continue reading It’s usually better to leave no doubt in your visitor’s mind if you’re not interested in their project or idea.