Hunt for Black Swans during unguarded moments

Pay close attention to your counterpart during interruptions, odd exchanges, or anything that interrupts the flow. When someone breaks ranks, people’s façades crack just a little. During a typical business meeting, the first few minutes, before you actually get down to business, and the last few moments, as everyone is leaving, often tell you more about the other side than anything in between. –Never split the difference, p.237 Continue reading Hunt for Black Swans during unguarded moments

Your counterpart is acting not rationally (to you)?

They probably have hidden interests. Your counterpart will often reject offers for reasons that have nothing to do with their merits. Ex: A client may put off buying your product so that their calendar year closes before the invoice hits, increasing his chance for a promotion. Or an employee might quit in the middle of a career-making project, just before bonus season, because he or she has learned that colleagues are making more money. For that employee, fairness is as much an interest as money. Whatever the specifics, these people are not acting irrationally. They are simply complying with needs … Continue reading Your counterpart is acting not rationally (to you)?

It is when we hear or see something that doesn’t make sense – something “crazy” – that you need to push forward, even more forcefully.

It is when we hear or see something that doesn’t make sense – something “crazy” – that a crucial fork in the road is presented: push forward, even more forcefully, into that which we initially can’t process; or take the other path, the one to guaranteed failure. […] when we’re most ready to throw our hands up and declare “They’re crazy!” is often the best moment for discovering Black Swans that transform a negotiation. –Never split the difference, p.232 Continue reading It is when we hear or see something that doesn’t make sense – something “crazy” – that you need to push forward, even more forcefully.

Show your ability to help someone attain their goal and they will follow you.

We’re all hungry for a map to joy, and when someone is courageous enough to draw it for us, we naturally follow. So when you ascertain your counterpart’s unattained goals, invoke. your own power and follow-ability by expressing passion for their goals – and for their ability to achieve them. –Never split the difference, p.231 Continue reading Show your ability to help someone attain their goal and they will follow you.

Know your counterpart’s religion

Knowing your counterpart’s religion is more than just gaining normative leverage per se. Rather, it’s gaining a holistic understanding of your counterpart’s worldview. It’s extremely effective in large part because it has authority over them. The other guy’s “religion” is what the market, the experts, God, or society – whatever matters to him – has determined to be fair or just. –Never split the difference, p.228 Continue reading Know your counterpart’s religion

The pinocchio effect

On average, liars use more words that truth tellers and use far more third-person pronouns. They start talking about him, her, it, one, they and their rather than I, in order to put some distance between themselves and the lie. And they discovered that liars tend to speak in more complex sentences in an attempt to win over their suspicious counterparts. –Never split the difference, p.178 Continue reading The pinocchio effect