A great negotiator aims to use her skills to reveal the surprises she is certain to find.
-Never split the difference, p.47 Continue reading A great negotiator aims to use her skills to reveal the surprises she is certain to find.
Tag: Negotiation
Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said.
This is called a mirror. By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain the process of connecting. For a mirror to be effective, you’ve got to let it sit there and do its work. It needs a bit of silence. -Never split the difference, p.36 Continue reading Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said.
Mirror your counterpart’s behavior.
Mirror is essentially imitation. It can be done with speech patterns, body language, vocabulary, tempo, and tone of voice. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. By mirroring your counterpart’s behavior, you send the signal “trust me” and “You and I – we’re alike.” -Never split the difference, p.36 Continue reading Mirror your counterpart’s behavior.
Your tone of voice is crucial. Bascially there are two tones you can have:
The late-night FM DJ voice. When you inflect your voice in a downward way, you put it out there that you’ve got it covered. Talking slowly and clearly you convey one idea: I’m in control. There is no question. It doesn’t offer an alternative, because it would beg further discussion. You can be very direct and to the point as long as you can create safety by a tone of voice that says I’m okay, you’re okay, let’s figure it out. Positive/playful voice It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and encouraging. The key here … Continue reading Your tone of voice is crucial. Bascially there are two tones you can have:
Going too fast is one of the mistakes all negotiators are prone to making.
If we’re too much in a hurry, people can feel as if they’re not being heard and we risk undermining the rapport and trust we’ve built. -Never split the difference, p.30 Continue reading Going too fast is one of the mistakes all negotiators are prone to making.
In the early goings, make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say.
Instead of doing any thinking at all about what you’re going to say. In that mode of true active listening – you’ll make your counterpart feel safe. The voice inside their head will begin to quiet down. The goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what they want. -Never split the difference, p.28 Continue reading In the early goings, make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say.
Assumption blind, hypothesis guide
Good negotiators, going in, know they have to be ready for possible surprises; great negotiators aim to use their skills to reveal the surprises they are certain exist. It’s best to hold multiple hypotheses, and to use the information that is coming in from listening to discard and modify those hypotheses. Engage the process with a mindset of discovery. -Never split the difference, p.24 Continue reading Assumption blind, hypothesis guide
Remember, people want to be understood and accepted.
Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there. By listening intensely, a negotiator demonstrates empathy and shows a sincere desire to better understand what the other side is experiencing. -Never split the difference, p.16 Continue reading Remember, people want to be understood and accepted.
Influencing rational thoughts by influencing the animal brain.
We have two systems of thought: System 1, our animal mind, is fast, instinctive, and emotional. System 2 is slow, deliberative, and logical. System 1 is far more influential. In fact, it guides and steers our rational thoughts. System 1’s inchoate beliefs, feelings, and impressions are the main sources of the explicit beliefs and deliberate choices of System 2. They’re the spring that feeds the river. We react emotionally (System 1) to a suggestion or question. Then that Sytem 1 reaction informs and in effect creates the System 2 answer. Learn how to affect your counterpart’s System 1 thinking, his … Continue reading Influencing rational thoughts by influencing the animal brain.
The human is a crazy, irrational, impulsive and emotionally driven animal.
All the raw intelligence and mathemical logic is of little help in a negotiation. We are always an animal, always acting and reacting first and foremost from our deeply held but mostly invisible and inchoate fears, needs, perceptions and desires. -Never split the difference, p.8 Continue reading The human is a crazy, irrational, impulsive and emotionally driven animal.
Roadmap to Billions 