Instead of naming a price, allude to an incredibly high number that someone else might charge. Ex: Once when a hospital chain wanted me to name a price first, I said, “Well, if you go to Harvard Business School, they’re going to charge you $2,500 a day per student.” –Never split the difference, p.199 Continue reading In bargaining, if the other side pushes you to name a price first.
–Never split the difference, p.198 Continue reading The Black Swan rule is don’t treat others the way you want to be treated; treat them the way they need to be treated.
You can usually express “No” four times before actually saying the word. 1st No: How am I supposed to do that? It has to sound like a request for help. Properly delivered, it invites the other side to participate in your dilemma and solve it with a better offer. 2nd No: some version of: Your offer is very generous, I’m sorry, that just doesn’t work for me. 3rd No: I’m sorry but I’m afraid I just can’t do that. 4th No: I’m sorry, no. –Never split the difference, p.181 Continue reading Get your counterparts to bid against themselves.
Conversely, the harder it is to get a first person pronoun out of a negotiator’s mouth, the more important they are. They will defer to the people away from the table to keep from getting pinned down. –Never split the difference, p.179 Continue reading The more in love they are with “I”, “me”, and “my” the less important they are.
On average, liars use more words that truth tellers and use far more third-person pronouns. They start talking about him, her, it, one, they and their rather than I, in order to put some distance between themselves and the lie. And they discovered that liars tend to speak in more complex sentences in an attempt to win over their suspicious counterparts. –Never split the difference, p.178 Continue reading The pinocchio effect
Pay very close attention to tone and body language to make sure they match up with the literal meaning of the words. If they don’t align, it’s quite possible that the speaker is lying or at least unconvinced. When someone’s tone of voice or body language does not align with the meaning of the words they say, use labels to discover the source of the incongruence. You: “So we’re agreed?” Them: “Yes…” You:” I heard you say, ‘Yes,’ but it seemed like there was hesitation in your voice.” Them: “Ohh, it’s nothing really.” You: “No, this is important, let’s make … Continue reading 7% message-based, 38% tone of voice, 55% body language and face
It only takes one bit player to screw up a deal. Identify those individuals by asking the following questions: How does this affect the rest of your team? How on board are the people not on this call? What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in this area? –Never split the difference, p.171 Continue reading Make sure to identify everyone who has a say in the deal
By making your counterparts articulate implementation in their own words, you will convince them that the final solution is their idea. And that’s crucial. People always make more effort to implement a solution when they think it’s theirs. Two key questions you can ask to push your counterpart to think they are defining success their way: How will we know we’re on track? How will we address things if we find we’re off track? When they answer, you summarize their answers until you get a “That’s right.” Then you’ll know that they’ve bought in. –Never split the difference, p.169 Continue reading Ask a calibrated question to force your counterpart to consider and explain how a deal will be implemented.
“Yes” is nothing without “how”. Ex: Success isn’t the hostage-taker saying, “Yes, we have a deal”; success comes afterward, when the freed hostage says to your face, “Thank you”. –Never split the difference, p.163 Continue reading Your goal, as a negotiator, is to come to an agreement that can be implemented, and make sure that happens.
When you’re attacked in a negotiation, pause and avoid angry emotional reactions. Instead, ask your counterpart a calibrated question. –Never split the difference, p.161 Continue reading Bite your tongue.
Roadmap to Billions 