…before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person – from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives – was likely to answer. -Principle 8, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.201 Continue reading I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours…
Along the way, keep in mind these powerful lessons: Break the habit of attempting to get people to say “yes”. Being pushed for “yes” makes people defensive. Our love of hearing “yes” makes us blind to the defensiveness we ourselves feel when someone is pushing us to say it. “No” is not a failure. We have learned that “No” is the anti-“Yes” and therefore a word to be avoided at all costs. But it really often just means “Wait” or “I’m not comfortable with that.” Learn how to hear it calmly. It is not the end of the negotiation, but … Continue reading Triggering “No” peels away the plastic falsehood of “Yes” and gets you to what’s really at stake.
“It will be for the jury to consider,” “This may, perhaps, be worth thinking of,” “Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of.” “You, with knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts.” No bulldozing. No high-pressure methods. No attempt to force his opinion on others. -Principle 4, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.174 Continue reading Usher (include) in your most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as:
1- Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “when two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brough to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake. 2- Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best. 3- Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size … Continue reading How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
Mr. Duvernoy had been trying to sell bread to a certain New York hotel. He had called on the manager every week for four years. He went to the same social affairs the manager attended. He even took rooms in the hotel and lived there in order to get the business. But he failed. “Then,” said Mr. Duvernoy, “after studying human relations, I resolved to change my tactics. I decided to find out what interested this man – what caught his enthusiasm. “I discovered he belonged to a society of hotel executives called the Hotel Greeters of America. He not … Continue reading Find out what people are interested in and talk about that
That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires. -Principle 3, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.64 Continue reading Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, PAUSE and ask yourself:”How can I make this person want to do it?”
Every act that you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something. -Principle 3, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.62 Continue reading The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Section I: The Goal Think through best/worst-case scenarios but only write down a specific goal that represents the best case. Section II: Summary Summarize and write out in just a couple of sentences the known facts that have led up to the negotiation Section III: Labels/ Accusation Audit Prepare three to five labels to perform an accusation audit Section IV: Calibrated Questions Prepare three to five calibrated questions to reveal value to you and your counterpart and identify and overcome potential deal killers. Section V: Noncash Offers Prepare a list of noncash items possessed by your counterpart that would be … Continue reading Prepare a negotiation One sheet
Embrace them. And so I’m going to leave you with one request: Whether it’s in the office or around the family dinner table, don’t avoid honest, clear conflict. It will get you the best car price, the higher salary, and the largest donation. It will also save your marriage, your friendship, and your family. –Never split the difference, p.243 Continue reading Every negotiation, every conversation, every moment of life, is a series of small conflicts that, managed well, can rise to creative beauty.
Pay close attention to your counterpart during interruptions, odd exchanges, or anything that interrupts the flow. When someone breaks ranks, people’s façades crack just a little. During a typical business meeting, the first few minutes, before you actually get down to business, and the last few moments, as everyone is leaving, often tell you more about the other side than anything in between. –Never split the difference, p.237 Continue reading Hunt for Black Swans during unguarded moments
Roadmap to Billions 