Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word “but” and ending with a critical statement. Example: We might say “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.” In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word “but”. He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and”. “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term and by continuing … Continue reading When talking to someone, change “but” to “and”

…and say them before that person has a chance to say them. The chances are a hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and your mistakes will be minimized just as the mounted policeman did with me and Rex. Example: Ferdinand E Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art. “It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing purposes, to be precise and very exact,” Mr. Warren said as he told the story. “Some art editors demande that their commissions be executed immediately; … Continue reading Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wnats to say or intend to say…