If we’re too much in a hurry, people can feel as if they’re not being heard and we risk undermining the rapport and trust we’ve built. -Never split the difference, p.30 Continue reading Going too fast is one of the mistakes all negotiators are prone to making.
Instead of doing any thinking at all about what you’re going to say. In that mode of true active listening – you’ll make your counterpart feel safe. The voice inside their head will begin to quiet down. The goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what they want. -Never split the difference, p.28 Continue reading In the early goings, make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say.
Good negotiators, going in, know they have to be ready for possible surprises; great negotiators aim to use their skills to reveal the surprises they are certain exist. It’s best to hold multiple hypotheses, and to use the information that is coming in from listening to discard and modify those hypotheses. Engage the process with a mindset of discovery. -Never split the difference, p.24 Continue reading Assumption blind, hypothesis guide
Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there. By listening intensely, a negotiator demonstrates empathy and shows a sincere desire to better understand what the other side is experiencing. -Never split the difference, p.16 Continue reading Remember, people want to be understood and accepted.
We have two systems of thought: System 1, our animal mind, is fast, instinctive, and emotional. System 2 is slow, deliberative, and logical. System 1 is far more influential. In fact, it guides and steers our rational thoughts. System 1’s inchoate beliefs, feelings, and impressions are the main sources of the explicit beliefs and deliberate choices of System 2. They’re the spring that feeds the river. We react emotionally (System 1) to a suggestion or question. Then that Sytem 1 reaction informs and in effect creates the System 2 answer. Learn how to affect your counterpart’s System 1 thinking, his … Continue reading Influencing rational thoughts by influencing the animal brain.
All the raw intelligence and mathemical logic is of little help in a negotiation. We are always an animal, always acting and reacting first and foremost from our deeply held but mostly invisible and inchoate fears, needs, perceptions and desires. -Never split the difference, p.8 Continue reading The human is a crazy, irrational, impulsive and emotionally driven animal.
Roadmap to Billions 