…before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person – from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives – was likely to answer. -Principle 8, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.201 Continue reading I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours…
“If you want ennemies, excel your firends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.” -La Rochefoucauld. Why is that true? Because when our friends excel us, they feel important; but when we excel them, they – or at least some of them – will feel inferior and envious. -Principle 6, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.190 Continue reading Let your friends talk about their achievements and downplay or avoid yours.
Along the way, keep in mind these powerful lessons: Break the habit of attempting to get people to say “yes”. Being pushed for “yes” makes people defensive. Our love of hearing “yes” makes us blind to the defensiveness we ourselves feel when someone is pushing us to say it. “No” is not a failure. We have learned that “No” is the anti-“Yes” and therefore a word to be avoided at all costs. But it really often just means “Wait” or “I’m not comfortable with that.” Learn how to hear it calmly. It is not the end of the negotiation, but … Continue reading Triggering “No” peels away the plastic falsehood of “Yes” and gets you to what’s really at stake.
Let’s say your girlfriend breaks up with you. You could be sad and saying it will never be the same. Or you you think it as a new beginning. You get a pass to start over and maybe improve some aspects of your life. –A Guide to Asking Better Questions, MFM Mini, Shaan Puri Continue reading Every event that happens in your life, ask yourself, is this the beginning or the end of something?
They quarreled about which one was the stronger, and the wind said, “I’ll prove I am. See the old man down there with a coat? I bet I can get this coat off him quicker than you can.” So the sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado, but the harder it blew, the tigher the old man clutched his coat to him. Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up, and then the sun came out from behind the clouds and smiled kindly on the old man. Presently, he mopped his brow … Continue reading The fable of the Sun and the Wind
“It will be for the jury to consider,” “This may, perhaps, be worth thinking of,” “Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of.” “You, with knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts.” No bulldozing. No high-pressure methods. No attempt to force his opinion on others. -Principle 4, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.174 Continue reading Usher (include) in your most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as:
…and say them before that person has a chance to say them. The chances are a hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and your mistakes will be minimized just as the mounted policeman did with me and Rex. Example: Ferdinand E Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art. “It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing purposes, to be precise and very exact,” Mr. Warren said as he told the story. “Some art editors demande that their commissions be executed immediately; … Continue reading Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wnats to say or intend to say…
-Martin Luther King, Principle 2, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p.162 Continue reading I judge people by their own principles -not by my own.”
When another asserted something that I thought an error, I deny’d myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing immediately some absurdity in his proposition: and in answering I gean by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right, but in the present case there appear’d or seem’d to me some difference, etc. I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the conversations I engag’d went on more pleasantly. The modest way in which I propos’d my opinions procur’d them a readier reception and less contradiction; I had less mortificatio when … Continue reading When someone says something you know is wrong…
1- Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “when two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brough to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake. 2- Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best. 3- Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size … Continue reading How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
Roadmap to Billions 